In regard to a (suitable phrases) recent debate concerning the consequences (relevant vocabulary) a country may face as a result of the globalization of tourism, a few ideas need to be addressed. (indirect language) Specifically, (linking words) the discussion focuses in on two areas that could be damaged by (passive voice) this issue. There is no doubt that these two in somehow would be affected; (repetetive information)therefore, (compound sentences) the only question then is, which (relative clauses) one would be more detrimental for the country? (rhetorical question)
The introduction appropriately informs the reader about the essence of the essay.
Firstly, (linking words) it could be said that (passive voice) countries, in some way, (interrupters) need to earn money must generate revenue (avoid common vocabulary/simple ideas) and hence rely on tourism to survive to the large scale of economy. Therefore, (linking words) regarding the first issue, (interrupting clauses) how can a country attract visitors without it becoming excessive? (rhetorical question) The only viable solution is for a country to implement is implementation of (use more nouns) regulation measures such as limiting the number of rental cars, reducing incoming flights and restricting hotel construction. (topical vocabulary)
- avoid common vocabulary (e.g help, do, bad, big, a lot) - use synonyms suitable for academic writing Formal & informal words
- use more nouns - formal written English uses nouns more than verbs Nouns in Formal English
Secondly, (linking words) regarding the second issue, (interrupting clauses) it is widely known that (passive reporting structures) an increase of in the number of visitors in a country can led lead to an overwhelming of its resources. (awkwardness of expression) However, (linking words) this rise in the number of people will not only (inversion) cause pollution due to increased vehicle traffic (topical vocabulary) but also damage local specifies species of animals and vegetation. Apparently, (linking words) many people are concern of concerned about these consequences, but no one is taking action.
All things considered, (linking words) these factors lead to the conclusion, (relationship is indicated) that the two areas are affected but I strongly believe that the most affected impacted (repetetive) one is the environment. This area (demonstrative pronouns) is inevitable inevitably more damaged, as a result of increasing pollution, and the degradation of the natural habitats. (complex ideas are communicated) Moreover, (linking words) the environmental concerns should be the primary priority. (evaluative writing)
Content: 5/5
have you answered the question?
All content is relevant to the task. Target reader is informed.
- 1 local economies- commented
- 2 the environment- commented
3 You should explain which point is more important, giving reasons in support of your answer- commented
Communicative Achievement: 4/5
have you completed the task in the right sort of language?
Academic style and evaluative formal language is used (some deficiencies) Formal & Informal Style (video)
- avoid common vocabulary (e.g help, do, bad, big, a lot) - use synonyms suitable for academic writing Formal & informal words
- use more nouns - formal written English uses nouns more than verbs Nouns in Formal English
The candidate can communicate complex and simple ideas, depending on the context.
The organisation: 5/5
have you structured your writing properly?
The candidate demonstrated clear and coherent organization of ideas, utilizing the most appropriate and effective structure for the given task.
Text is well organised and coherent, using a variety of cohesive devices and organisational patterns to generally good effect.
Language: 3-4/5
have you used a good range of grammar and vocabulary?
Vocabulary
There is a suitable range of vocabulary, including less common lexis.
Grammar
There is suitable range of simple and more complex grammatical forms which are used with control and flexibility.
Errors are not particularly significant but are noticeable.
Uses a range of language, including less common lexis
- avoid simple vocabulary (can, more, need, result, all) - the text consists of 52% of A1-level words
Sentences are sufficiently complex and varied (relative clauses, adverbial clauses, noun clauses, adjectival clauses and compound sentences)
The text uses a range of suitable grammatical structures ( passives, inversion, modal forms and tense contrasts)
Use other suitable and advanced grammatical forms:
- correlative conjuntions (neither.. nor, both...and)read more
- conditionals (If it hadn't been.. )read more
- negative conditional (unless)see more
- past modals (might have left.., could have been.. )read more
- past perfectread more
Score: 17/20 Grade: C1 (good)
*We try to asses your assignments in accordance with the official guidelines. However, we cannot guarantee that you will receive this exact grade in the exam.
